Sugar Junkie Blog by Rebecca Hill. Making a Big, Small (or flat out weird!) Contribution to Society? Tell Us About It!"

February 20, 2011

In this week’s blog I want to explore Deepak Chopra’s question, “Is there a contribution I can make to my community or to society?”

Like I said last week, the reason I want to explore questions like this one and “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?” is that I believe if we can find enough silence in our lives to hear our souls answer these questions, then I think we will lean less on food for emotional support. I mean, seriously - who needs a Butterfinger if you actually know what your purpose in life is, right!?!

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Sugar Junkie Blog by Rebecca Hill: Defining What You Want and Searching for Purpose

February 13, 2011

Hello, friends! Thank you again to those who were able to make it out to my Chicken Soup for the Soul; Shaping the New You book signing at Barnes & Noble last weekend, and to those who sent well wishes and were there in spirit!

photo by: Suzanne Campbell

With the book signing behind me, I’m now looking forward to returning to the questions raised by Deepak Chopra in an article I read a few months ago. (Again, the reason we're exploring Deepak Chopra's questions on a health & fitness website is that I really believe that being able to contemplate and answer the questions he poses will help us minimize our desire to turn to food for emotional comfort.) My friend, Suzanne, sent me the article as New Year’s Eve was approaching and we were all discussing our New Year’s Eve resolutions on this blog. To remind everyone, here is one of the questions that the LA Times asked Deepak Chopra:

Do you think there’s a way for people to make their resolutions stick?

Deepak Chopra answered:

Yes. I think if they go beyond motivation and find true inspiration, then the resolutions will stick. So for me it’s to go to a deeper level, and that’s why I place so much importance on this idea of silence. I’m not saying everybody should do it, but even if you took five, 10 minutes of quiet time every day or every other day or once a week and asked yourself simple questions like, who am I? What do I want? What is my life’s purpose? Is there a contribution I can make to my community or to society? What kind of relationships do I want to have? What is my idea of well being, and how can I achieve it?

We explored the question “Who am I?” on this blog a few weeks ago, so this week I’d like to focus on his questions of “What do I want?” and “What is my life’s purpose?”

It’s hard to even contemplate these questions while frantically rushing from work, to chauffeuring kids to soccer practice, to ballet practice, to grocery shopping, to making food, to going to bed, to getting up early, to trying to find time to exercise …but, if we can’t find a few minutes of silence now – then when? Living in LA, I sometimes sit in traffic for what seems like an eternity. I thought that maybe the 20 minutes I spend sitting on the 405 would be the perfect time to contemplate these questions but when I tried that,  I kept coming up with answers like “I want…THESE CARS TO MOVE!” and “My purpose is…TO GET TO WORK ON TIME! COME ON YOU GUYS – LET’S MOVE IT!” Not exactly what Deepak (or I) had in mind so I thought I’d turn the reigns over to others to see if they had better luck answering these questions with a calmer presence of mind and more depth.

I started with Kiana. She said:

Great question – really made me stop and think…. What I want out of life is good health, true happiness, affection from my kids, career fulfillment, laughter every day, love, no pressure or stress; for my children to grow up with good values, positive attitudes and have a love for health and fitness too.



My purpose in life is to be a leader and a role model for my kids, family and millions of people around the world.



Then I asked Kiana’s mother, Marilyn. “Mom Tom” said:

What I want out of life is to be happy and content and to be loved by my family and friends. I want enough money to live comfortably (but not a garish lifestyle.) To enjoy my value system of life and living and pray that more people will have a value system of goodness and kindness and that children will be instilled with the golden rule of life.

Mom Tom said that she felt her desires were “basic” but that that was the way her “wonderful dad was – basic” and that that is how she is as well.



Kiana and I have a friend named Julie who was Kiana’s wardrobe stylist on ESPN’s    “Kiana’s Flex Appeal.” (And for those of you who’ve read my story “Cheeseburger in Paradise” in Chicken Soup for the Soul; Shaping the New You – Julie was my roommate – the one who busted me for sneaking cheeseburgers while we were shooting in Maui.)

Anyway, Julie who is a mother of two said:

What I want out of life is: To be healthy is number one, I cannot help anyone else unless mom is healthy first. You also cannot be completely happy and enjoy life unless you are healthy first!

My purpose is to recover my son from Autism and to help find a cure for his Immunodeficiency. Life becomes really worth living when you are in it for someone else!



I also explored this question with Kiana’s mother-in-law, Carol.

Carol said:

What I want out of life is a peaceful and joyful existence. With peace and joy all the rest comes naturally. For the last 5 years I have had to overcome some pretty major hurdles. The best revenge is to be happy and that is what I am going for.



My purpose in life is to be the best and most honest person I can be. I have been blessed with great kids, a great family, and wonderful, dear friends.



It is time now to give back so I am in pursuit of some type of volunteer work where I can do just that.



Life is too short to waste and there is still so much that needs to be done.

All soulful answers and clearly these women have found a few moments of stillness to contemplate these questions, knowing that their answers will (quite possibly) guide their destinies.

I tend to think best as I’m writing so let me try to contemplate these questions again here tonight:

What I want out of life is …okay I’m stuck already…

New approach: Let me fantasize about what I’d do if I won the lottery. Let’s say like $2 million (but not $30 million) – enough so I could have anything I wanted but not everything I wanted. Let’s play the “Genie in the Bottle game” – if I could have 3 ‘want wishes’ they would be:

1.     That Tom and I could devote 100% of our lives to trying to make art. He would have even more time for music...





....and I would have even more time to try to grow as a writer.) I would still work at Curves part-time and I’d still like to help out at the Bed&Breakfast Inns I work at, but I’d like much more free time to try to develop as a writer.



2.     I want Tom and I to have good health. (As I know from my autoimmune disease when you’re in physical pain it makes doing anything else very difficult.)

3.     Except for Sundays, I want to find 1 hour a day to exercise and 1 hour a day to meditate. (Again this ties into more free time.)



And of course, I want a 1959 red corvette convertible and a (non-haunted) Southern Greek Revival House and massages every day and more time with friends and better relationships with-in my family. But when push comes to shove – as I sit here and make myself quietly contemplate “what I want” it has to do with unscheduled, free time and quiet hours spent with Tom.



In terms of “my purpose”: I don’t know …I only feel truly satisfied when I’m telling (or being told) a great story. While I admire great doctors, architects, school teachers and astronauts – the only people who silence the whirl in my head are the great story tellers like David Sedaris, Nora Ephron, Anne Lamott, Martha Beck, and Elizabeth Gilbert. I’m truly mesmerized by comics like Bill Cosby, Ellen DeGeneres, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Kathleen Madigan, Brett Leake, Evan Davis and Jeremy Hotz. I hold these writers and these comics in the highest regard.

I would like to believe that my purpose in life is to be a storyteller…but that will take work, which takes time, which is why I NEED to win the lottery!  ;-)  (Are you listening, God!?! I NEED to win the lottery! And, if I do, I promise that (with the exception of Sunday) I will make time for 1 hour of exercise/day and 1 hour of mediation/day in addition to writing.)

Okay, that’s pitiful…since I’ve now digressed to actually bargaining with God on this public blog I’ll turn it over to you guys! See if you can complete these sentences (and we’d love it if you would post your answers in the ‘comments section’ below!) Good luck! These questions can be tough to answer…

1.     I want…(fill in the blank)

2.     My purpose is…(fill in the blank)

Fit Mom TV Blogger: Rebecca Hill / Barnes & Noble Chicken Soup for the Soul Book Signing a Success!

February 6, 2011

I am delighted to say that my book signing at Barnes & Noble; Marina del Rey went well yesterday! It was my first book signing ever so I was very excited (and a little nervous). The staff at Barnes & Noble was fantastic and welcomed us when we arrived.





My husband Tom Caufield and my fellow Curves trainer, Toni helped me get the signing table all set up.



My friend, Dominique was the first to arrive! She reminded me to “breath” when I saw the rack of books Barnes & Noble had ordered just for the event. I was intimidated by how many books there were to sell!

Dominique also brought me a rose which started out as a beautiful addition on the signing table...then it turned into a prop (as you'll see from the photos below) until Tom had to take it away and say "focus, sweetie - this is a book signing ..take the rose out of your mouth." (All said with great affection, of course...after 10 years of marriage, he knows me quite well!)



Anyway, here are a few additional photos from the signing:

When I got home from the signing there was a very nice email from Kiana that said, "CB! I am so happy for you and CONGRATULATIONS on your book signing of many to come! Wish I could've made it and met your friends too! I had to play chauffer to my kids: soccer, dance, ballet... What wonderful photos of y'all (your Southern accent is wearing off on me!?!) I am so proud of you and am especially glad that the 'Cheeseburger in Paradise' story is now public knowledge! It was a hard secret to keep all of these years!  Love and just say NO TO CUPCAKES! - Kiana"



And, oh yeah – great news! We actually sold out!!! (What a relief!)

Many, many thanks to Renee Carter at Barnes & Noble for inviting me to have this book signing and to their manager, Jake, for making the event so fun! I also want to thank all of our Curves members and my friends who came out to support me. I really appreciate y’all! I want to thank Tom for making me take the rose out of my mouth and, of course, I want to thank Chicken Soup for the Soul for publishing my stories in the first place!

Chicken Soup for the Soul "Shaping the New You!" by Rebecca "CB" Hill

Hi, Fit Moms! I’m really excited that Barnes & Noble has invited me to do a book signing for Chicken Soup for the Soul; Shaping The New You! The book signing will be next weekend, so if you’re in the LA area – please come by!

BOOK SIGNING DETAILS:

Saturday; February 5^th

2:00 – 4:30 p.m.

Barnes & Noble

13400 Maxella,

Marina del Rey, CA 90292

(310) 306-3213

A few days ago I interviewed several beautiful women for this blog as we continue to pursue and explore Deepak Chopra’s questions of “Who Am I? What do I want out of life? What is my purpose?” I will share their thoughts with you in a few weeks and we will continue to discuss these questions because I really think the more we know ourselves and what makes us happy – the less we will rely on food to fill our emotional needs. We will explore this more later because right now I have to get ready for the book signing, so I will leave you with one of my stories that was published in Chicken Soup for the Soul; Shaping the New You.



This is the story of the first time I traveled to Maui with Kiana to shoot ESPN's "Kiana's Flex Appeal" and how Kiana ended up giving me the nickname “CB.” Happy reading and hope to see you at the book signing!



Cheeseburger in Paradise



You can’t really be strong until you see a funny side to things.

~Ken Kesey

My name is Rebecca but my nickname is “C.B.” which stands for cheeseburger. I got the nickname C.B. several years ago when I was working on a television show in Maui, which is gorgeous -- just an absolute paradise! I was the personal assistant to ESPN television fitness star, Kiana Tom. We were in Maui for two weeks shooting her popular exercise show, Kiana’s Flex Appeal. Let me tell you, two weeks is a long time to hang out with “fitness people,” especially if your idea of a good time is a brownie sundae followed by salty potato chips. I was a bona fide junk food addict stranded on an island with “health nuts” who, from my perspective, seemed to be from another planet.

The entire cast and crew stayed at a luxurious resort called the Grand Wailea. The resort was expensive so we were required to share a hotel room with another member of the production team. My roommate’s name was Julie and she was in charge of Kiana’s wardrobe. (Kiana’s wardrobe, by the way, consisted of itsy-bitsy bikinis and workout shorts. I always found it amusing that Julie’s full-time job was taking care of bikinis that were so small I could have put three of them in my wallet!) Anyway, Julie was a fantastic roommate and I had a great time working on the show… except for when it came time for breakfast, lunch or dinner.



For breakfast everyone enthusiastically drank protein shakes or ate oatmeal while I desperately scanned the craft services table hoping for a doughnut that might have accidentally been delivered. There was never a doughnut to be found -- the closest thing I could find was a whole wheat bagel. “Oh well” I thought, “at least it’s the right shape!”

When we’d break for lunch, I’d watch in disbelief as everyone “oohed” and “ahed” over grilled chicken breasts and steamed vegetables. I’d pick at my food claiming that I was “not that hungry.” After we’d wrap for the evening, the cast and crew would make plans to go out to dinner together. Most nights I’d claim to be “exhausted from the sun” or say that I “had too much work to do” just so I could have a few hours to myself. I’d diligently work on my laptop as my roommate Julie got dressed to go out to dinner with the others, but the minute she’d leave the room I’d call room service and order a cheeseburger and fries. I’d salivate just waiting for the cheeseburger to be delivered! I was always struck by how high my room service bill was but it was a small price to pay for “real” food! I’d scarf down the cheeseburger in no time and then hide the evidence by walking my tray with the dirty dishes down the hall and putting it in front of someone else’s hotel room door.



The production company had paid for our hotel rooms in advance but we were responsible for incidental charges like phone calls, in-room movies and room service so I figured I’d just quietly pay my room service bill at the end of my stay and no one would be the wiser. What I didn’t realize was that this hotel offered a special feature where you could review your incidentals on the TV in your room. I also didn’t realize that Julie would be checking our room’s bill to see how expensive the phone calls she had been making to her husband had been. I was in the shower when I heard Julie yell, “$100 for cheeseburgers? That can’t be right -- I’m calling the front desk!”

I jumped out of the shower with soap still in my hair and said, “Wait. Actually, that’s correct. I’ve been ordering cheeseburgers.” I started laughing as I told Julie how I’d been ordering cheeseburgers from room service, then hiding the trays down the hall. She was laughing so hard when she called Kiana that she could barely speak. Then Kiana started laughing too and by the morning it had all become a big joke on the set. In a way it was a relief because it allowed me to eat my beloved junk food out in the open my last few days in Maui. As a matter of fact, on one of the last days of shooting I did go out to eat with the cast and crew. We were at a beautiful high-end restaurant so I ordered an exquisite pasta dish, but when my food came and the waiter lifted the fancy silver dome lid that was covering my food, it was revealed that someone had snuck out and gotten me a cheeseburger, then bribed the waiter to serve it to me instead of the pasta. Everyone laughed -- especially me as I happily ate the cheeseburger!

Kiana still affectionately calls me C.B. but a lot has changed these days. I lost over 40 pounds through Weight Watchers and I recently became a circuit trainer at Curves gym. When new members say, “I just don’t know if I can do this,” I always reply, “Trust me. If I can do this, you can do this!” And when they ask for advice on what they should eat I hear myself saying things like “Oatmeal is good.” And “For lunch and dinner you probably want to have some protein like grilled chicken or tofu, and be sure to eat your veggies!” At first they look at me like I’m from another planet but I know that will change. I’m living proof that with time and dedication new habits can be formed and taste buds can evolve. That doesn’t mean that people suddenly become “perfect.” I’m not. I still eat the occasional cheeseburger or doughnut but I’m more aware of my actions now than I used to be. It’s still a struggle for me to stay away from fried foods and sweets but as I’ve grown older I’ve realized that everybody has challenges in their lives -- food is mine. I take it day-by-day -- sometimes hour-by-hour. And I’m okay with that because I’m proud of how far I’ve come since the day I got caught eating cheeseburgers in paradise!

~Rebecca Hill

Sugar Junkie Blog by Rebecca Hill. “It’s Not Just a Love of Cupcakes…”

Sugar Junkie Blog by Guest Blogger and published Author, Rebecca Hill.

January 23, 2011

Rare is the day that I’m at a loss for words, but …I’m at a loss for words. Meditation is hard! (At least it is for me.)

The first day I meditated my cat, ‘Anais the Siamese’ started crawling all over for me so ½ way through my meditation song I gave up and just started playing string with her and feeding her ‘Turkey Treats’. The second day as I was trying to follow Deepak Chopra’s instructions and contemplate “Who Am I?” I started fretting, which turned into panicking because the person I am is not exactly the person I expected to become; and it is certainly not the person my family and childhood/high-school/college friends expected me to be. For the most part, I like who I am; but as I thought about my true beliefs, I found it hard to breath as I imagined the full force of how disappointed my family and many friends would be if I were completely straightforward with them about how liberal my views really are. And as I started panicking at the thought of losing my family and many of my friends my first thought was “I really need some cupcakes.” which reinforced my suspicion that my struggle with my weight is not really “what I’m eating”, it’s “WHAT’s EATING ME!?!” I’m wondering if that’s true of any of you? I’m sure we’ve all got different types of issues going on in our lives but I think it’s probably these issues (not simply a love of cupcakes) that leads us to do things like eat a dozen cupcakes in the grocery store parking lot after a bad day. (Please tell me y’all sometimes eat cupcakes in the grocery store parking lot too…do you?)

In any case, the third day I meditated, I fell asleep.

I wanted to see if others were having any luck answering Deepak’s question so I turned to my friends to see how they were doing with it. My girlfriend, Cheree said, “When asked to answer the question ‘Who am I?’ I initially thought in broad stoke single words like brave, caring, fun. Then I dove a little deeper because those single word descriptions are so general and all really don't apply every day to who I think I am, I'm still discovering myself! Everyday, if I really take a moment to think of my reactions, my honest feelings about what is happening to me or around me, my actions in my career, marriage and friendships, I come to the realization that I am in process of becoming my personal best for each day. That is who I am, my own personal best. And I will be better tomorrow and will not be defined by a single word, group or philosophy.”



As for the challenges of quieting my mind long enough to meditate, I reached out to my favorite yoga teacher in the world – Wendy Hartley. Wendy said, “The purpose of meditation is to watch and observe your thinking mind. Through the power of your breathing you can slow your thinking. The longer you sit (for me it is in the 20-30 minute mark where there is a lot of space between my thoughts) the more you get to release the nonsense and see with greater clarity. The natural state of our mind is to think and create. But with concentrated focus we are better aware of what we are entertaining. I like the idea of pondering the big questions, but usually the answers to those big ones come when your mind hasn't been "forced" let's say, but spontaneously enters stillness (like right before sleep for example) or meditating without expectations. I do love Deepak's work. The mind may not even quiet in a whole hour of sitting, but practicing awareness to your thinking patterns gives you the power to change. Happy sitting. Have Tom practice too.”



So, then I asked my husband, Tom to try meditating. It did not go well for him either… Seems a cat was bothering him too!



(Thanks for reading my blog. If you have time, do contemplate what my yoga instructor Wendy said and try to find time to meditate; I really do think meditation is important and I will continue to try to make this practice a part of my daily life too. Also, please ask yourself, and try to answer Deepak's question “Who Am I?“ in the comments section below. Maybe start the sentence with, “I am….” (then fill in the blank and see what you come up with.) And remember, you can post your comment as “Anonymous” if you’re not ready to claim yourself yet. Have a good week! – Rebecca)

Rebecca Hill is the author of “Confessions of an Innkeeper” and “Don’t You Worry, Don’t You Cry.” Her stories have also appeared in Redbook Magazine and in several Chicken Soup for the Soul anthologies.  


http://www.amazon.com/Chicken-Soup-Soul-Encouraging-Fitness/dp/1935096575

Words of Wisdom by Deepak Chopra (with a few additional thoughts by Rebecca Hill)

January 16, 2011

Two weeks into the New Year and I’m wondering how your New Year’s resolutions are going? As for mine …at this point, I can’t even remember if I made any. Did I? Oh yes, (just re-read my own blog): #1 was that I was going to learn to find acceptance even if I didn’t understand a difficult situation in my life. #2 was that I was going to learn to love the squat machine at Curves!



Well, girlfriends, unfortunately neither resolution is going swimmingly well which is what led me to re-read an article my friend, Suzanne shared with me several weeks ago. In this article, Deepak Chopra expresses his thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions. You can read the entire article at:

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-ca-conversation-20101226,0,3358554.story

Or you can just peruse this excerpt: (I know you Fit Moms are busy!)




Do you (Deepak Chopra) participate in the annual ritual of taking stock at the New Year?



I take stock every three or four months. Every four months or so, I take a week off to be in total silence, to look back and see what I should be looking at in the future. For me, it would be a quarterly ritual.



Do you think there's a way for people to make their resolutions stick?



Yes. I think if they go beyond motivation and find true inspiration, then the resolutions will stick. So for me it's to go to a deeper level, and that's why I place so much importance on this idea of silence. I'm not saying everybody should do it, but even if you took five, 10 minutes of quiet time every day or every other day or once a week and asked yourself simple questions like, who am I? What do I want? What is my life's purpose? Is there a contribution I can make to my community or to society? What kind of relationships do I want to have? What is my idea of well being, and how can I achieve it?





I don't ask that you even know the answers, but if you start to do this kind of reflection, it has a very interesting way of not only moving you to the answers but of changing your behavior. So instead of saying, I'm going to have all this willpower, and I'm going to try so hard, which is all mental fatigue, reflective self-inquiry spontaneously leads to change.





I’m intrigued by what Deepak Chopra says because it ties back into my suspicion that meditation really is an incredibly powerful way to shape and guide our destinies. So, while I will continue to work toward my New Year’s Resolutions (and I hope you will continue to work toward yours too!) I do want to circle back around to a topic we were discussing a month or so ago on this blog. The need for “Quiet Time.” Most of us cannot take a week off every 3-4 months to fully vet the larger questions of life, but I do hope we can all try to find at least 5 minutes once per day to ask ourselves the questions Deepak Chopra poses in this article: Who am I? What do I want? What is my life's purpose? Is there a contribution I can make to my community or to society? What kind of relationships do I want to have? What is my idea of well being, and how can I achieve it?



I know you’re all incredibly busy women but my intuition tells me you will be a better mother, a better spouse, a better employee, a better boss, a more fulfilled person (and that you will achieve all of your goals, including your health and fitness goals more easily) if you can find 5 minutes each day of “you time” to think through these questions. I’m going to try it (again) too. I keep failing to make mediation and prayer a part of my daily life, but if I can make it part of my life, I think good things are going to happen for me and for those I love. I hope so anyway.



I leave you with good wishes for the week ahead and with several peaceful images from my dad’s beautiful African art collection. I also leave you with a few suggestions for music to use in your meditation practice. Brian Eno, Harold Budd and Tim Story all have many great instrumental pieces that are perfect for meditation. And, I also enjoy meditating with two songs my husband, Tom wrote: “Quiet Time” and “Thinking To Much.”  Each of Tom’s songs are about 5 minutes long so I’m posting them on this blog in case you need something mellow to help you time your meditation.

Thinking Too Much

Quiet Time



Try to meditate at least one day this week, okay? And please let Kiana and me know how it goes!



*”Quiet Time” and “Thinking Too Much” are performed by the harmony duo, CAUFIELD, which consists of American singer-songwriter, Tom Caufield and German-born vocalist, Yasmin Tanriverdi.   http://www.caufieldmusic.com/cmt/78.html