What started out as a simple question turned into a weeklong discussion between my girlfriends and me. “What makes you happy?” The reason I asked the question is that I think if we can get in touch with what makes us happy, then we may be able to turn to things (other than food) to enrich our lives.
I started the discussion with, “What makes me happy is spending time with my husband, Tom. Whether we’re out and about doing something really ‘fun’ or just hanging out in our apartment reading books or watching movies, I always feel happy, content and relaxed when I’m with him.”
I’m also happy when I’m ‘creating something’ whether it’s a book, a Chicken Soup for the Soul story, a Jib-Jab or this blog. When I’m working on a ‘project’ it’s the only time the question of ‘what am I doing here/ what’s the meaning and the purpose of my life’ quiets down in my head.
I’m also happy when I’m eating brownies…oops did I really just say that!?! Yes, unfortunately I did…a week ago today one of our Curves members rushed into the club and with all the aplomb of a great conspiracy leaned over my desk and said, “I need your help with something” as she slipped me a brown paper bag and whispered, “My brother gave me 2 brownies. I just ate one and I need to get rid of the other one. Can you help me?” I said “Sure.” and thought to myself “This is going in the trash the minute she walks out the door.” But as I was throwing it away I decided to peek in the bag “just to take a look” and it was a BIG, amazing, homemade brownie and (needless to say) it never made it to the trash. I counted the minutes until the club closed, pulled the blinds down, turned off some of the lights and ate the brownie. And it did make me happy…temporarily. Temporarily is the keyword –we’re not looking for things that make us happy “temporarily” –we’re looking for things that really feed our soul whether we need to be calmed down, inspired or invigorated. So, here’s what my girlfriends had to say in terms of what makes them happy:
My favorite yoga teacher in the world, Wendy, said she is truly happy, “When I am committed to my morning meditation, (even if that means only 5 minutes of sitting) I take inventory of my emotions and choices of the day before. This helps me fine tune what is working and what needs evaluation. My blood sugar is a major factor to how much my mind wants to monkey around. When I slow down carbohydrates after 3pm daily, I notice how much easier it is to get up the next day and not talk myself into a negative habits.” Wendy also looks like she’s pretty happy when she’s hula hooping!
Maureen, who is an amazing singer and performer said, “I have worked very hard to create a life where I do what I LOVE for work AND play. By day I am a LMFT/Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist; nurturing, supporting and helping children and families; it’s the greatest job in the world! At night, I am a performer; singer/dancer/musician. I made sure that my ‘day job’ AND my ‘night/weekend’ job nurtured my soul. I never ‘sold out’ for money. My first priority was to ‘be happy’ and I was blessed to have parents who instilled in me the importance of never chasing money, but chasing happiness. What makes me happy is waking up each day and knowing that what I do will influence, affect and touch the life of another person. That is true happiness!”
My girlfriend, Mea said, “Being out for a walk alone with only nature and my thoughts makes me happy. Feeling like I give each day my all and accomplished a lot makes me feel happy. Seeing joy on my child's face and being in the moment so that I can appreciate it for everything it’s worth makes me the happiest.”
And my girlfriend Heather said, “That's a loaded question. In no particular order...not just smelling the ocean air but breathing it. Knowing I had a productive day and leaving my tiny little place in the world a little better than how I found it. Doing something unexpected for someone and having it be appreciated (and they don't even have to know it was me). The uninhibited feeling I have with my family and friends where I can say whatever comes to mind no matter how silly or how unflattering and knowing that they will unconditionally love me and always have my back even if they do not always agree with me. Fireworks. Wearing flip-flops makes me happy. Holding hands with someone I love. Daisies….daisies make me happy!”
Susan, who owns the Bed & Breakfast Hotels I work at, said, “Lots of things make me happy but a blue sky and clean cool air when I run and listen to rock music or guitar suites make me happy.” “When my grandchildren run to greet me - kissing their sweet brown heads makes me happy, and walking into either hotel makes me happy. So good exercise, good family and good work should do it - and a hot bath for me.”
My sister-in-law, Cindi said what makes her happy is, “Taking action and accomplishing a goal! Be it fitness (a good workout that initially I didn't want to do but always feel SO good after) or a creative project at work (coming up w/a good design that I am proud of). Also a walk in my neighborhood on a beautiful day makes me happy. It puts me in such an appreciative mood ... of nature, wildlife, fresh air, blue skies, being healthy. I feel like I am in paradise and I consciously savor that.”
One of my very fittest friends (besides Kiana) is Liz. Liz said she’s happy when she’s, “Had a good workout…or more honestly the feeling I get AFTER a good workout; a pair of jeans that fit perfectly because of the workouts! I’m happy knowing that I am surrounded by family and friends who love and accept me for me. I also love dancing around the living room and singing with my 3 yr old niece, the giggles, the french fries…”
Wait, did Liz just say “french fries”!?! Yup, she sure did. So, maybe food can be a small part of what makes us happy. We are human after all and food is one of the pleasures of life. Given that two of my fittest friends do on occasion indulge in french fries, perhaps a treat every now and again is okay …as long as we know (really know and get in tune with the fact) that a brownie or french fries will never satisfy our souls like the company of good friends and family and that there are some pleasures that go further than food. Like Susan said, one of the true pleasures in life is “A hot bath!” I’m all for “ a hot bath” – believe it or not, I’d actually choose it over a brownie!
How about you? What makes you happy? We’d love to hear your thoughts and have you share your feelings too…what makes YOU happy!?!
What makes me happy is unstructured lazy days with my husband and kids, the beach/ocean, reading, hiking... xoxo Mamatha
ReplyDeleteI definitely notice getting pumped up when I have alone time to write and work on my sceenplays. Also, I'm happy when I have no pressing appointments and wake up and have a day where you know you can do anything you want. Also, exercise makes me happy--after I do it, though, not necessarily before or during? Thank God for endorphines!
ReplyDeleteWhat makes me happy? Oh, so many things! My kids (most days), watching my dog roll in the grass, alone time with my husband, a great run (not necessarily a fast one) with good friends, walking on the beach, and most of all, feeling like I am being the best ME I can be.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great question. This past Christmas I heard "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music on the radio and I posed this same question to myself. Here's what I came up with:
ReplyDeleteDriving down country roads under canopies of trees with the windows down in the month of May and smelling honeysuckle
Candles that smell like food (Butter Toffee is my absolute fav!)
Biking or rollerblading through Shelby Farms, the most fantastic park in the US, where I feel natural and free and so lucky just to be alive and healthy.
"Philosophy Club" which is just when my husband and I sit on our patio, drink wine, and talk about the intricacies of the universe
Getting lost in a project, creating something, and for at least a moment getting out of my head and forgetting anything else in the world exists
and
Moments working at the hospital where a patient looks at me and smiles. Even though they are in pain, I feel for that moment I made their day a little brighter.
What makes me happy? A clean house, spending quality time with my son, a nap and getting my bills paid!
ReplyDeleteOh and eating a healthy meal that my HUSBAND prepared! Dream on!!!
I love unstructured lazy days too, Mamatha! They are such a treat! Thank you for taking the time to make a post and share with us...
ReplyDeleteJeannie, I find it interesting that both you and Mamatha (comment posted above) value free time so much and say it's what makes you happy. With our lives being so busy it is so important to have "alone time" as you say and to invest in ourselves whether it's writing screenplays like you do or making (countless) Jibjabs like I do. ;-) In terms of exercise, have you checked out Kiana's :60 second Fit Tips? It's a one minute video posted on the upper right hand side of this blog - for busy moms (and busy people in general) I find these fit tips fantastic! This week Kiana shows us how to do a plank pose and an "inverted V." I'm going to go try it now ...back in a few minutes!
ReplyDeleteHi, Jessica! Just finished practicing "plank pose" (per Kiana's :60 Fit Tip video) - it's tough but I can do it for almost 1 minute at a time. Still working on the "inverted V" though ...don't quite have that down yet. Love your answers, Jessica! I particularly like the idea of "Philosophy Club" - so important to actually connect with your spouse and discuss your thoughts on life (not just quick exchanges about the grocery list, the car needing an oil change, etc.) Tom and I may try to incorporate "Philosophy Club" into our lives so thank you for that! I also completely relate to the idea of "getting lost in a project". I love that you have actually given thought to what makes you happy and that you have found so many wonderful ways to enrich your life and feed your soul ...so great!
ReplyDeleteCareen, sounds like having order in your life brings you a sense of "calm" and makes you happy (clean house and bills paid). And I'm assuming the love of a nap follows spending quality time with your son. (Little kids have so much energy, don't they!?! I love them but I am absolutely exhausted after about 2 hours of play.) If you do get your husband to make that healthy meal, please ask him to share the recipe with us here on Kiana's Fit Mom TV. Then maybe all the other ladies can leave your blog post on the kitchen counter as a "hint-hint" to their husbands! ;-)
ReplyDeleteCathy, I love that the things that make you happy are so positive! Time with your husband - time with your friends - time with your kids - getting physical exercise (walking on the beach and going for a run.) So positive! So awesome!
ReplyDelete