Sugar Junkie. Part 5. By Guest Blogger Rebecca Hill

KIANA'S FIT MOM TV 2010 HOLIDAY CHALLENGE:
WEEK #1: SPEND 5 MINUTES PER DAY MEDITATING, PREFERABLY IN THE MORNING.



How much time does a mom (or any woman) have for herself each day?

I asked several of my girlfriends this question. One of my friends answered, "None. A working mom is lucky if she has clean clothes to wear to work each day." Another friend said most days she only finds "about half an hour" for herself.



I was particularly moved by an anonymous email that Kiana and I received several weeks ago. Anonymous said:  "I really think my issue with food is that I just don’t care enough about myself. I sometimes think if I lived all alone I could handle the food, but when I have to cook and take the kids out to eat all the time, I can’t control myself. It’s (difficult) to carve out a life of my own among everyone else. Food helps me cope with the things in life I can’t seem to control. In my daily life, I end up feeling more like a maid, cook, and chauffeur, than I do myself."

I wonder if mothers are actually being "good moms" by putting everyone else first or if they're sending the wrong message to their children. I'm not a mother so if I’m off base, feel free to knock me off my soapbox, but in dealing with a needy child who won’t allow you to take a moment for yourself, I wonder if a positive way of replying might be, "I love you and am going to make sure I always take good care of you, but I also love myself and am going to make sure that I take care of myself too." My own mom gave me everything and put me first for 39 years, but time has shown that she has resentments about that. My father died suddenly and unexpectedly last year, and I really needed my mom. But, because she had given everything to me and sacrificed everything for me she had nothing left to give. She had no bandwidth for my grieving and carved out her new life quickly, far from anything that reminded her of her old life, including me. I finally understood that, by giving too much of herself for too long, she finally had nothing left to give. In hindsight, it would have been healthier for her to pace herself, to understand earlier on that a person must take care of themselves along the way, or the well may run dry too soon.

I took this as a cautionary tale. Whether you have children or not, it’s important to find at least a little time to put yourself first so that you don’t build up resentments and damage your body and soul by neglecting your own needs. I've struggled with this for years and when I've had jobs that were too demanding, I leaned on food to compensate for a lack of sleep. Not a good plan!

I'd like to propose a Holiday Challenge. Let’s open our minds to the possibility that we can find at least a little time for ourselves each day. I consulted Kiana and asked her to come up with "baby steps" that we could do over the next 4 weeks to help us regain our lives and sense of selves.

Kiana’s assignment for us this week is to FIND 5 MINUTES EACH DAY TO MEDITATE, PREFERABLY FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. She says, "You want to take yourself away in your mind. 'Taking yourself away' means envisioning you are somewhere you want to be, with anyone you want, or all by yourself. For me, I envision myself sitting alone on a white sandy beach where the sand is like powder, the ocean is clear and turquoise blue. There is no one on the beach for miles. All I see is the ocean gently crashing onto the white sand and I feel a warm, balmy breeze and hear birds in the distant background. I sit there in my mind and get to enjoy completing my own thoughts."

If you're like me, you may have trouble sitting completely still for a minute (much less 5) so I'm going to include a mp3 of my husband's song, * "Quiet Time" in this blog to help guide you and time your experience. This song is exactly 4 minutes and 13 seconds long so I want you to find a comfortable place and "take yourself away" for the duration of this song. If you feel your mind wandering, gently bring your thoughts back to your breath. Just feel yourself breath in and out. Relax, concentrate on your breathing, and visualize something peaceful.

** Oprah said, "You will be surprised by the discipline that comes from doing (meditation) on a regular basis, how your life begins to unfold for you differently. I call it 'centering up for myself.'"

If it's good enough for Kiana and Oprah - it's good enough for me!

5 minutes of meditation each day this week. Let me know how it goes, okay?
Click to enjoy: Quiet Time
* "Quiet Time" is on CAUFIELD's CD, "Leave Tonight." CAUFIELD is a harmony duo comprised of American singer-songwriter, Tom Caufield, and German vocalist, Yasmine Tanriverdi.  http://www.caufieldmusic.com/cmt/78.html

** To read Oprah's full article on mediation, please visit http://www.oprah.com/spirit/The-Power-of-Meditation-with-Oprah-and-Cheryl-Richardson

Rebecca Hill is the author of “Confessions of an Innkeeper” and “Don’t You Worry, Don’t You Cry.” Her writing has appeared in Redbook Magazine and she frequently contributes to Chicken Soup for the Soul. Her most recent story appeared in the new Chicken Soup for the Soul book, “Thanks, Mom!” She has worked as coordinator on high profile projects including: Kiana’s Flex Appeal, American Idol and Scooby Doo the movie.