In this week’s blog I want to explore Deepak Chopra’s question, “Is there a contribution I can make to my community or to society?”
Like I said last week, the reason I want to explore questions like this one and “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?” is that I believe if we can find enough silence in our lives to hear our souls answer these questions, then I think we will lean less on food for emotional support. I mean, seriously - who needs a Butterfinger if you actually know what your purpose in life is, right!?!
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I got to meet Chicken Soup for the Soul publisher Amy Newmark, and editors D'ette Corona and Barbara LoManaco today and, as you can imagine, I was blown away by them. They were in Los Angeles for the weekend and made time to stop by Channel Road Inn to have a cup of tea with me so we could meet face to face. They were so friendly, funny, warm and unassuming that I had to keep reminding myself - these are not my "girlfriends" - these women are heavy hitters in the publishing industry; they are touching lives (in a major way) every day - one story at a time. Not only do they help their readers, but they nurture, inspire (and publish - let's not forget publish!) many writers who are striving to be heard, myself included. Amy, D'ette and Barbara definitely "contribute to society" via the publishing world. They choose to use their talents and their influence in a way that is uplifting and encouraging and they have touched countless numbers of lives via the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.
After they left the Inn I started thinking about other people who contribute to their community and to society and I was equally blown away by them. I thought about Kiana and how she has dedicated her entire life to helping people improve their level of health and fitness.
I thought about an amazing woman I know who (anonymously) donates untold amounts of money to educational scholarships. I thought about another incredible woman I know who runs a non-profit for battered women and children. She literally saves (and then changes) lives everyday! I thought about my dad, who spent several years living in the Congo as a teaching missionary.
I thought about my husband Tom, who has dedicated his entire life to the arts, and who often writes lyrics about "hope through adversity." I love the handful of emails we've received over the years saying that Tom's lyrics have touched someone and helped them through a difficult time. One woman wrote in a review "With Tom (Caufield) - who needs therapy!?!" Another guy wrote to Tom directly and said he keeps Tom's debut album "Long Distance Calling" in his fire vault! Tom was super flattered and I was super jealous. Imagine creating something someone likes so much that they keep it in their fire vault!
And then I thought of myself. What contribution have I made to my community or to society? It surprised me when the answer was "Well, I'm sure no one has any of my work in their fire vault but, I did make a whole bunch of hookers on Santa Monica Blvd. laugh and smile a lot!"
Perhaps I should explain ...when I lived in Georgia, I worked as a country music DJ and later hosted a public access TV show called "Georgia Country." I got it in my mind that I was going to have a career in country music so a few months after my parents gave me a brand new white Geo Storm, I had it painted to look like a cow because I thought that would tie in to being in the country music business. I loved "The Cow Car!" When The Cow Car and I moved from Atlanta to Los Angeles in 1993, we drove cross country. At every major tourist attraction I'd come out to find people sitting on The Cow Car taking photos with it. Once I got to LA, people started leaving notes, flowers and even little gifts on The Cow Car. In the notes, people always said that they saw The Cow Car around town and it "made them smile." Within a few months of moving to Los Angeles I was working long hours at a post production house in Hollywood and often didn't go home until the wee hours of the morning. The first time I drove home via Santa Monica Blvd. at 2 a.m. I was surprised to see all of the scantily clad prostitutes walking the streets. I was even more surprised when they all started waving and pointing and laughing and shouting as The Cow Car and I drove by. If you're a prostitute hanging out on Santa Monica Blvd. at 2 a.m. I can't imagine that there's too much to smile about, but The Cow Car seemed to do the trick. (no pun intended) At least for that 10 seconds as the prostitutes smiled and waved and I smiled and waved from The Cow Car, everything was happy and light, bright and alright. And I know that making a a few dozen people smile for a few seconds is not much of a contribution to society compared to being a powerhouse publisher, a health and fitness guru, or running an organization for battered women or being a teaching missionary in Africa but it's what I've contributed. A smile...a laugh...10 seconds of feeling like the world is light, bright and alright.
How about you? What contribution can you make (or do you already make) to your community or to society? How does your contribution make you feel? (If you’re comfortable, please think out loud and post your thoughts below in the comments section.)
Thanks and I hope you have a great week!
XO,
Rebecca
Good grief! I always think that I'm the one who isn't doing anything for the community in which I live. But sitting quietly with this question I know know that it is not true. I do give. I give to my community by actively recycling, beach clean up days with Heal the Bay, checking in on a neighbor who doesn't have family around, picking something up from the store for a neighbor so they don't have to go out as well, helping with fundraisers and talking to newly diagnosed women about my experience with breast cancer and how it IS NOT a death sentence, messy yes, but you move on. I believe my major contribution is being a cheerleader for the soul. I feel good about that. Sometimes when I feel like emotionally eating I ask, "would someone else benefit more from what I am about to ingest than me right now? Is this what I really need to move on through my day?" Sometimes the answer is "YES! I do need that cookie", but most of the time it is"Nahhhh, just move on".
ReplyDeleteRebecca,
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing, real, and super fun person. I love reading about what you share and how you open a window for us to look at our own lives and how we can contribute to make this place we inhabit such an amazing playground that it is.
I have been giving more "gifts of myself" and the work I do to help others retreat into their inner body/mind. Your article made me think of a grander scale of how I can be contributing.
Sincerely thank you!
W
Ahhh
ReplyDeleteLove the car car!!!
I often think about your father, Dr. Don. I feel fortunate to have known him. I consider Dr. Don as one the prime and pure examples of a true human being. His life served as the answer to that age old question, "what is the meaning of life?" What was his answer to this challenge? Be better than you were when you got here! Dr. Don took that philosophy further by also leaving this world a better place once he left. He has left his mark in so many ways.
ReplyDeleteSo if any of you wonder what you should do to help your community, city, town, state or world? Follow Dr. Don's example. Challenge yourself to "be better" every day. After all, it starts with you and it goes from there.
And yeah, I'm trying to live up to his example. I started an outreach program that helps the homeless and underserved young people get access to quality running shoes and shirts. This program will encourage people to engage in healthy lifestyle and give them the gear to do it! It's called the S3 Project (S3 stand for "Shoes, Shirts AND Service") It's run under my program know as Big Peach Outreach. Watch for it, because it's coming to a community near you some day!
I'm not patting myself on the back. I realize that I'm not coming close to the impact Dr. Don has had on this world. But I'm trying and so are you...and that's the point!
Thanks Dr. Don!
Cheree, the contributes you make through recycling, and your volunteer work with Heal the Bay are so incredibly valuable! And, as one who was sick for many months (with an auto-immune disease that made it hard for me to see so therefore impossible for me to drive) I can assure you that your visits and helping hand with your neighbors is incredibly helpful and means so much! I want to talk to you more (in this public forum) about breast cancer "being messy, but NOT a death sentence." You are, indeed, a cheerleader for the soul and I'd like to have you share more of your message via this blog. With all you do and all you give, no wonder you can sometimes/ often pass up that cookie - that's what I'm guessing - the more involved we are with our life's passions and with helping those around us, the less we will need a cookie. Thanks for supporting my theory with your awesome lifestyle! :-) Rebecca
ReplyDeleteThis world is indeed (on it's more benign days) a playground and I love having fun while I'm here! Being able to help people "retreat into their inner body/mind", as you do, is so giving - and it's like water to those who receive that gift from you, Wendy. With all that's going on in our day to day lives it's hard to settle down and "retreat into our inner body/mind" but I think it's crucial to reaching our full potential. (Or at least, I think it's crucial to me reaching my full potential - I really need it/ really crave it. I can't hear my soul very well when I'm running from one thing to the next or stuffing my emotions back down with cookie dough and cake.) I hope whatever the "grander scale" of helping people you are envisioning involves you making some kind of yoga CD or yoga DVD so Tom and I can incorporate you into our practice. We are still trying (struggling) to find "the stillness inside." Thank you for being you, Wendy - you're really something! (Note to readers: Wendy Hartley is Tom and mine's favorite yoga instructor. She used to live here in LA, but then moved to Arizona several years ago. For my 40th birthday, Tom drove me to Arizona so I could be in her class on my actual birthday. It was worth the drive - Wendy is an amazing guide. I can always "find myself" when I'm in her class. I don't know how she does it - but she makes me tune the rest of the world out. If you ever have the opportunity to take one of her yoga classes, you'll see what I mean. She has a real gift.)
ReplyDelete