Pajama Days: Good for the Soul / Sugar Junkie Blog by Guest Blogger Rebecca Hill

March 8, 2011

Hello, girlfriends! This week I want to explore the last question Deepak Chopra proposed in his LA Times New Year’s Eve article.

In an attempt to understand ourselves and what we really want and need out of our lives, I want to take a look at Deepak’s question, “What is my idea of well being, and how can I achieve it?” If we can answer this, I don’t think we’ll need our “cupcake crutch” as often – at least that’s what I’m hoping because I’m getting tired of leaning on “cupcake crutches” to help me hobble through life. Are you?

If so, please take 5 to 10 minutes out of your busy day (and I do know that y’all are busy!) and really contemplate – “What is my idea of well being, and how can I achieve it?”

The answer is not the same for everyone because the disciples of Thoreau crave “Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity.” while others are “Carpe Diem!” types of gals. I really learned this several years ago when I was still working in the entertainment business. I remember having a conversation with a producer and while I was bemoaning the fact that we had worked 12 days straight and was counting the days until the project was complete, she was already lining up her next film project. I remember saying “I can’t wait for this project to be over. I really like the subject matter of this film, and it’s a beautiful film, but I need this to be over soon.” The producer said, “Oh yeah, what are you going to do next?” and I said, “Hopefully nothing. I need some downtime – like at least a month of doing nothing to recover from this.” The producer said, “See that’s your problem, Rebecca – you only think life is good when there’s nothing to do.” I remember feeling bad at the time, like there was something wrong with me, but now I realize – we all run at different paces. I’m a disciple of Thoreau, so I like lots and lots of unscheduled free time but this producer is a “Carpe Diem type of gal” so she likes to be busy. Life feels “right” to her when she’s simultaneously putting together a budget on her computer while doing a conference call with visual effects vendors from around the world and sending the nanny to pick her child up at preschool so they can “all meet at the park for some play time in 15 minutes.” She doesn’t mind working on Christmas day if that’s what’s needed and she thinks nothing of working all day, then catching a redeye across the country so she can “jump right off the plane and catch a 9 a.m. breakfast meeting.”

I know another producer who I finally figured out only sleeps 5 hours/night even when he’s on vacation. He told me this after I said to him, “How are you doing this? How are you working 90 hours/week on this project AND spending time with your family AND managing to stay healthy and fit? I can’t keep up with you. I want to keep up with you, and I am technically keeping up with you work-wise but physically and emotionally I feel sick – literally sick, whereas you are happy and fine.” That’s when he told me, “only needing to sleep 5 hours/ night lets you do more.”

Another producer told me (after I’d been working for 36 hours straight) that “sleep is a choice.” I said I wasn’t entirely sure that it was. She said, “If the fate of the world depended on you not falling asleep, you would not fall asleep.” There was some faulty logic there: 1.) In this particular case, the fate of a Japanese commercial starring Madonna depended (somewhat) on me, but certainly not the fate of the world. 2.) Even if the “fate of the world” depended on me, or anyone else, we would eventually fall asleep – it would just be a matter of time. I didn’t say any of this because I was too deliriously tired to think or talk, but I did feel like a loser for not being able to keep up with “production people.” Years later, I’ve concluded that different people have different needs so they have to structure their lives differently in order to find peace and happiness and in order to be productive in their own particular way. I want and need things to stay relatively simple and calm and, in order for me to be creative, I need a lot of unstructured free time by myself. There are days that I can be distracted even by a butterfly or a bee buzzing by – so I need to sit indoors at my computer, by myself, and have quiet time to write. Other people would be bored to death with my lifestyle. I now only work 40 hours-week in relatively fun and low-stress jobs and though this causes some financial strain, it still provides an overall rhythm to my life that agrees with my soul.

So, I’m wondering - what’s the rhythm of your life and is it working for you? And by “working”, I mean how are you feeling physically and emotionally?

Going back to the way Deepak phrased it, “What is my idea of well being, and how can I achieve it?”

As I’ve said, my idea of well being is sleeping 8-10 hours/ night and having lots of unstructured free time so I can write or work on one of my projects like the kids video “When I Grow Up” that my friend, Karlos Walkes and I are hosting. That's fun to me! That feels right to me.

I was talking to my friend Carmen about all of this the other day.

Carmen is the head housekeeper at Channel Road Inn. She routinely works 6 days/week (5 days at the Inn and 1 day in a private home) and then she runs errands and cleans her own house on her day off. Carmen always has a smile on her face and her work is impeccable but she did admit to me that she’s “starting to feel a little tired.” I suggested that she needs a “pajama day.” Carmen (who’s been a hard worker her entire life) didn’t know what a pajama day was so I explained it in detail.

A pajama day is when you stay in your pajamas for an entire day and you simply rest and relax. It takes a little prep work – the day before, you need to make sure you have clean pajamas and a big stack of books, magazines and movies. You also need to put clean sheets on the bed and clean towels in the bathroom so everything will feel really fresh and clean. You will also want to make sure that you have groceries in the house and/or that you know which restaurants will deliver food to your house because YOU WILL NOT BE GOING OUTSIDE FOR THE ENTIRE DAY – as a matter of fact, you will not even be getting out of your pajamas for the entire day. Carmen laughed when I told her this and said, “You’re so funny, Rebekitta!” And I said, “I’m not joking, Carmen. Pajama days are the best – you should try one!”

So for Carmen and all of you hard workers out there, here’s a step-by-step guide to having and enjoying a pajama day in case you want to take a walk on the (not so) wild side.

First, you sleep in (i.e. – no alarm clocks; just wake up whenever your body has decided it’s had enough sleep)

Then, have some breakfast. It would be best to have a breakfast with some protein in it (like egg whites) but I had cereal on this particular day because my cat, Anais the Siamese, LOVES cereal milk!

Next, get your big stack of books, magazines and movies and passively enjoy some good entertainment.

Then, if you’re worn out from all of the entertainment – take an afternoon nap.

Around 6ish (or whenever you’re hungry) have “Linner.” (Whereas “brunch” is a combination of breakfast and lunch …”linner” is a combination of lunch and dinner – it’s common vocabulary amongst us night owls but you early birds might not be familiar with this term.)

Then go see if you got any mail. (The idea is you’re hoping a new Netflix movie or O Magazine has arrived. If you see a bill, put it back in the mailbox – it can wait until tomorrow.)

Then if you’re starting to get restless, play a little! (But make sure you don’t work. NO WORK! I’m talking about good old fashion playing!)

And then when you get tired from playing, maybe you could read a book?

Play a game on the computer?

Or go back to watching movies?

Most likely, you'll need a midnight snack since ‘linner’ probably won’t get you through the entire night – so have a snack (preferably a healthy one, despite this photo evidence of my behavior).

And, then it’s time to go to sleep, which will be super easy since you’re already in your pajamas!

So, that’s pretty much how I define my “idea of well being.” (Sleep and as much unstructured free time as possible to hang out with Tom and work on projects. One caveat is : I have come to believe that no matter who you are or what kind of lifestyle feels best to you, we all still need to exercise daily and eat right, at least most of the time. The body just needs it!). I achieve the lifestyle I crave by having relatively low-stress part-time jobs that cap my workweek at 40 hours/week. Don’t get me wrong – with any lifestyle you choose, there will be sacrifices. Finances are tight with this lifestyle I’ve chosen so Tom and I live in a small apartment and both drive older cars. We don’t get to do things like eat out or get massages very much and (the hardest sacrifice for me) we can’t afford to buy really nice presents for others on birthdays or Christmas. But, when I weighed the things I wanted in life, I really wanted “Simplicity. Simplicity. Simplicity.” and that’s the price tag of choosing this lifestyle.

So how about you? Are you also a disciple of Thoreau or are you a “Carpe Diem kind of gal?” What is your idea of well being, and how can you achieve it? Answer that question and I’m betting you’ll “need” that cupcake or that burger and fries just a little less…

 (Side note RE: Pajama Days: If you have kids, you may need to have your “pajama day” at a hotel while grandparents or friends watch the kids overnight. We have many guests at Channel Road Inn and the Inn At Playa del Rey who “run away from home” for the weekend and come to the Inns specifically for a pajama day. Pajama days are even easier at a hotel because the hotel provides movies, clean sheets, clean towels and takeout menus or room service. All you have to do at a hotel is bring your pajamas. It’s divine! I love hotels because everything you need is there – and nothing more.)